The best part about an electric razor

Lots of people shave with non-electric razors and that’s fine but my choice is electric razor and I’ll tell you why.

The best part about an electric razor that I like is that it uses electricity to do the ditry work of removing hair from your face forever. Well, not forever because, as we all know, it grows back.

Disambiguation: the hair grows back, not the razor. The razor has just grown once (ostensibly in a factory or farm) and it’s not growing any more (similar to children who reach adulthood and stop growing but you still have those pencil marks on the wall showing how tall they were at what age.)

For example, let’s say your son “Charlie” was age five and you put a mark on the wall showing how tall “Charlie” was at that age but instead you accidentally write “four” because you forgot your own child’s age at that moment.

Really though? Seriously, what kind of parent does that? Is there so much going on in your life that you can’t remember your own child’s age? Maybe you should pull your head out of your ass, buddy.

The electric razor is along those lines but without you being a jackass fucking everything up for your child and ruining their life forever by forgetting how old they are. Way to go.

Admittedly, some people prefer straight “classic” razors and others prefer safety razors but for my money, it’s electric all the way but damn, I’m still over here marveling at how much of a fuckup you have to be to forget your child’s age. Do you also forget their birthdays? Forget to hug them? Forget to pick them up from the ball game? Make them sleep in the garden shed? What else are you capable of?

Right now I’m tempted to call child protective services so just know you’re walking a thin line.